A love I eventually hated P.J

I had fallen so undoubtedly inlove with the reminentsof you kissed at the mere thought of you being mine once more tortured my mind into burning at your memory yet salvaging all I could keep of you you were gone , many had accepted it but why could I not? why was I tearing at my tounge? hoping you would hear words I had never spoken to you telling you the complexities of my love for you how it was torture simply loving you, continuously bathing my lungs in the smoke from , just to hope I'd be your favourite joint , clinging to bones simply because I can , conjoining into something it never was I had loved you but I hated you even morestill , I made a room of you beauty, painted it's walls with your sarcasm, gave it light with your compliments, made a bed of your love, found comfort in your cigarettes and left the window slightly ajar to let you in. Forced myself into your oblivion and finally accepted your existence, withering in the pain of never loving you the same, I yearned being starved of a fantasy , I made vines of my arms, spat grapes from my teeth , fermented my pride and made a wine for your famished tounge to lick upon.I had made you drunk for my love and feverish for my touch , I made you mine