A Happy Heart under the Knife

They tell me I will never get better, they tell me that don't matter. I'll never cry, because I know that it'll never change. All of these scars are like my tattoo. The smile that has been forgotten, I'll have it back. I've been drowning for awhile. I've been falling for awhile. I've been burning for awhile. I've been dying for awhile.. I'm an observer. I'm the quiet girl that observes the way people speak and the way they react. I'm a thinker, not a talker. I was never perfect, Knotted hair and bad skin. I could never be perfect.. I wanted to be just like them. "I just wanted to be perfect" I'm fighting myself again, I'm sorry I can't pretend I'm fine. Can you help me just breathe again? Tell me, when will just having myself finally enough? I'm awake all night, struggling to sleep. Starting my day on caffeine. Social media, I like this fake world. I am a teenager, and this is my life. and sometimes I wish That I die.