A fading bond pt2

Why do I try so hard to be friends with someone? Someone who I finally found nice, kind, someone that I look for in a friend, but this happens.I have told myself many things, maybe it's me and I should try to listen more and understand her too, and also tell her about everything, but... I just can’t find the right words to describe my feelings when I tell her. She always says “I'm sorry you feel this way”' and for a while, she tries to be there for me. But I hate that she tries. I just want her to value our friendship. I know she does, but sometimes I feel like she doesn't. Sometimes I feel like it was never meant to be and maybe I should distance myself. But the thing is that I still love her, I still care. She was the first true friend I have ever had, and it hurts that I feel this way. But I don’t want to feel this way. Every time I need my peace, I need to stop troubling her, but she is that friend that I would, if the situation came, sacrifice my life for. It might sound cheesy, but I would do it. Even though she would never, but I would. I would do it because she is someone I don’t want to lose, but will need to lose. It hurts, but that’s life. You gain and lose.Perhaps, life's bitter taste.