A dream so sweet

In my dreams I dream a dream so sweet. When I wake I wake a wake so sour. The weight of life crushing down on me. And I fantasize living my last hour. The pressure can be overwhelming. All the eyes judging everything. How I hear, How I talk. How I feel. How I walk. Everything I do I do it wrong. Even when no one is around. I can't escape my hateful thoughts. It drowns me in negativity. Through blood sweat and tears I fought. But I can’t get rid of the enemy. The war inside of me is endless. Constantly in the brink of madness. I'm the demon. I'm the savior. I'm the reason I'm the failure. Even when I win I still lose. Everything I know isn't true.