a broken hearts desire

a total stranger has been so kind, for years I've tried to speak my mind and one person that doesn't know me is capable of understanding with certainty I don't want to desire another man I'm doing everything that I can I want My husband to feel like a husband maybe leaving wasn't the mistake, coming back was. now I lay here at night with him on my mind not planning deceit of any kind just realizing the truth that we hide this isn't what's meant for us it's time to let go but why does it seem impossible to do so I'll never know