5 AM

5 AM I want to hurt you I want to tell you I don't love you anymore I'm in pain. I can't sleep. Nobody likes and nobody loves me. I want to use you. Share you with some guy. And humiliate you. Turn you into an object for our pleasure. I want to withdrawal my love from you. Make you feel abandoned. I want to see that that would work and seeing that you suffer, know that you are loving me. I want to break up with you and see that you start crying. I don't want to accept that I'm so fked up that I can't stay alone for a week without crying. I don't want to suffer more than you do, so what's there to do than make you suffer? I want to destroy everything. To sabotage the relationship. All my fantasies go towards that. I need to be needed. I don't want to be the one in need. So I won't tell you. Probably I'm just missing you, but I would give up on you just to demonstrate I love you less than you do. Am I enough for you? Are you enough for me? I'm afraid my love is just need and I'm afraid your love is just want. Maybe I'm using you already, so you should break up with me. I don't trust when you say you miss me. I'm all alone. What if I just have a hole to fill and you have the perfect shape for it?