3am

It's 3am and your covering your mouth trying to hold in your pain so nobody hears as the tears soak your face and pillow This has become somewhat of a nightly routine for you. It's the only time you don't feel exposed, the only time you aren't hiding behind a forced smile and fake conversation. Nobody knows just how close to the edge you actually are... fighting the urge to jump. You tried to be happy and tried to stay sober. You wanted so badly to be who they needed you to be! But for some reason, you still fall short, never quite getting to where you need to be. You can't let anyone else find out just how bad you've gotten again, so you fake it all day everyday until it's 3am and your covering your mouth trying to hold in your pain, your tears soak your face and pillow and you fight the urge jump 💔