31 January

people say i nag a lot, that im against the world, that I hate the world, hate is a big word. it’s like you’re saying i'm against the Lord, or that i want to tear down the underworld, but never mind, it’s false. Very false, actually. There are so many things I like. things that cheer me up. things that genuinely make me happy, like realizing it’s January 31st, like cutting contact with that one mentally ill friend, like listening to Lavender Buds, the way I am right now, it takes me to heaven, makes my ears cry for more and more. What makes me happy in life, beyond the nagging, is having my loved ones around me. their warmth lifts me up, the love floating in the air makes me feel euphoric, like nothing else matters, like life was made just to sit there and love, to love the way you’ve never been loved, and the way you loved that one day you felt like you actually mattered to your father What makes me happy is when my friends ask for my help, when they think of me as someone capable of giving what they need giving back what they once gave me when I needed it most. But at the end of the day, i realized that they were right, there's not a lot of things that make me happy in that world, except nagging,.