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alot I was, from temper to sadnesses, violence madness built in me, fire travels thru my veins. I yell I curse at my own family but people may see me as hateful rage that's how I saw my family. one day I sat upon a mattress that belong to the floor, I realized hate was the best love I've received. weeks after weeks, weeks went to months. I wanted to tell my family I loved them but that was gone, they were gone. I went to family, too 1. I am now alone, I look back and realize how much I miss the hate. Now I sit upon a mattress that belongs to the floor, I sit, tired so tired I can't bare the strength to close my eyes, after hours of my pale glaze after hours of my starring phase my eyes are so dry I start to go blind. I am only left with my mind. I think of nothing as I stare at : . nothing. I am not apart of a family of four. I have no friends I am alone, I do not count days I do not plan anything I sit in one place every day. I am not past or future I am present. I am 1